How To Love Your Body When You Hate It

Emily | Posted on April 15, 2023 |

Have you ever wondered how to love your body when you hate it? Body image issues are something that many people struggle with at some point in their lives. The constant barrage of messages from the media and society about what a “perfect” body should look like can lead to feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and even self-hatred.

However, it is important to remember that your body is unique and beautiful, regardless of how closely it conforms to societal standards. Learning to love and accept your body as it is can be a transformative process that can bring about greater self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall happiness.

In this blog post, we will explore some mindset exercises to help you shift your mindset towards a more positive relationship with your body, even if you currently struggle with feelings of dislike or even hatred towards it.

What Causes Body Hatred?

Body hatred or negative body image is a complex issue and can have multiple causes, which may vary from person to person. It is known as “body dysmorphic disorder.” Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition characterised by an excessive and distressing preoccupation with a perceived flaw or defect in one’s physical appearance that is either minor or not observable to others.

People with BDD may spend hours each day obsessing over their appearance, engaging in compulsive behaviors such as excessive grooming or checking their appearance in mirrors, and may avoid social situations or experience significant impairment in daily functioning as a result of their preoccupation. BDD can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, and in severe cases, it may even result in suicidal ideation or attempts.

Some aspects that contribute to a negative body image are:

Social and cultural pressure: societal beauty standards and cultural norms about what is considered an “ideal” body shape or size can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, particularly if your body does not fit those standards.

Trauma or negative experiences: experiencing negative comments, bullying, or abuse related to your body can lead to long-lasting effects on body image and self-esteem.

Genetics and biology: some people may be predisposed to a particular body type or shape based on their genetics, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction if their body does not conform to societal standards.

Mental health conditions: mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and eating disorders can all contribute to negative body image and feelings of self-hate.

Life changes: Life changes such as pregnancy, aging, or changes in health can alter someone’s body, which can lead to feelings of discomfort or dissatisfaction with your appearance.

How To Love Your Body When You Hate It: Mindset Exercises

It is possible to love your body when you hate it. Here are some mindset exercises that you can try to overcome your body hatred.

Practice the Ho’oponopono Healing Prayer

Ho’oponopono is a non-religious Hawaiian healing practice that involves repeating four phrases: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” While it may not directly address body image issues, practicing Ho’oponopono can help you cultivate a sense of self-love and acceptance, which can ultimately lead to a more positive relationship with your body.

Each morning and evening, do some mirror work and look at yourself in the mirror while being undressed. Repeat the four Ho’oponopono phrases while looking directly into your own eyes and to your body. Say I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you, either out loud or mentally. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, it can help you develop a sense of self-love and acceptance.

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Body Appreciation

Body appreciation is the practice of recognising and acknowledging the value of your body for all that it does for you on a daily basis. It involves taking the time to reflect on and appreciate the many functions and capabilities of your body that often go unnoticed. By focusing on the positive aspects of your body, you can develop a greater sense of gratitude and respect for yourself, which can help improve your overall well-being.

To practice body appreciation, you can take a few minutes each day to reflect on the different ways your body supports you. Get to know your body and accept the way you look. You might start by simply thanking your body for carrying you through the day and allowing you to perform your daily activities. You can also focus on specific body parts and their functions, such as your legs for allowing you to walk or your arms for enabling you to hug your loved ones.

Other ways to practice body acceptance may include engaging in physical activities that feel good to you, such as dancing or yoga, and treating your body with care and respect, such as by eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and avoiding harmful behaviours. By showing your body the care and appreciation it deserves, you can start to develop a more positive relationship with it and cultivate a greater sense of self-love and acceptance.

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Positive Affirmations

A positive affirmation is a powerful tool that can help you cultivate a positive mindset and increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. Affirmations are positive statements that are repeated to oneself in order to reinforce positive beliefs and attitudes. When it comes to body image, positive affirmations can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and towards self-acceptance and self-love. They can help improve the negative relationship with your body.

By repeating positive affirmations regularly, you can start to reprogram your subconscious mind and replace negative self-talk with more positive and empowering messages. This can help you develop a more positive relationship with your body and improve your overall mental and emotional well-being.

Some examples of positive affirmations for body love and acceptance include:

“I am grateful for my body and all that it does for me.” This affirmation can help you focus on the many functions and abilities of your body, rather than just its appearance.

“I choose to love and accept my body exactly as it is.” This affirmation can help you shift your focus toward accepting and loving your body for its unique shape, size, and features.

“My body is strong, healthy, and capable.” This affirmation can help you appreciate the physical strength and resilience of your body.

“I deserve to treat my body with love and respect.” This affirmation can help you prioritize self-care and treat your body with the care and respect it deserves.

“I am beautiful and worthy, just the way I am.” This affirmation can help you recognize and appreciate your inherent worth and beauty, regardless of external standards.

Reframing Practice

Reframing negative thoughts about your body with positive ones is a powerful tool that can help improve your body image and increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. It involves consciously challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about your body and replacing them with positive, empowering thoughts and beliefs.

Instead of focusing on your perceived flaws and shortcomings, try to shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your body that makes you feel good. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I hate my stomach,” try reframing that thought to, “My stomach is a part of me, and it allows me to digest food and nourish my body.”

By reframing negative thoughts in this way, you can start to develop a more positive and accepting attitude towards your body.

Other examples of reframing negative thoughts about your body include:

Instead of thinking, “I wish my arms were thinner,” try thinking, “My arms are strong and allow me to lift and carry things.”

Instead of thinking, “I hate my stretch marks,” try thinking, “My stretch marks are a natural part of my body and tell a story about my journey and experiences.”

Instead of thinking, “I’m so fat and unattractive,” try thinking, “My body is unique and beautiful in its own way.”

By reframing negative thoughts and focusing on the positive aspects of your body, you can start to develop a more positive and loving relationship with yourself. It takes practice and patience, but with time, you can learn to appreciate and love your body for all that it does for you.

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Body Neutrality

This approach encourages you to shift your focus away from the appearance of your body and towards its function and capabilities. It is not entirely the same as body appreciation, but there are similarities between these two tools.

With body neutrality, the goal is not necessarily to love or hate your body, but rather to view it as a tool that allows you to navigate and experience the world. This approach can help individuals detach from the societal pressure to constantly strive for a “perfect” body and instead focus on what their body can do for them.

To practice body neutrality, you can try to shift your focus away from your body’s appearance and towards its abilities and functions. For example, instead of focusing on how your body looks in a certain outfit, focus on how comfortable and confident it makes you feel. You can also try to engage in activities that allow you to appreciate your body’s abilities, such as exercise, dance, or outdoor activities.

By practicing body neutrality, you can start to develop a more balanced and accepting relationship with your body. It can also help you reduce feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety that may arise from a negative body image.

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Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment.

To practice mindfulness, you can start by setting aside a few minutes each day to focus on your breath and bring your attention to your body. You can also try to incorporate mindfulness into your daily activities, such as eating or taking a shower.

When negative thoughts about your body arise during mindfulness practice, try to observe them without judgment or criticism. Simply acknowledge the thought and then refocus your attention on your breath or bodily sensations.

Over time, mindfulness can help you become more aware of your negative self-talk and how it affects your body image. It can also help you develop a greater sense of self-compassion and acceptance towards your body.

In addition to mindfulness, other practices such as yoga and meditation can also help improve body image by promoting self-awareness, relaxation, and self-acceptance.

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring involves identifying and challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about your body, and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones.

To practice cognitive restructuring, start by paying attention to the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about your body. Write them down, and then challenge them by asking yourself questions such as:

Is this thought based on fact or opinion?

What evidence do I have to support this thought?

Am I jumping to conclusions or making assumptions?

Is there another way to interpret this situation?

Once you’ve identified and challenged your negative thoughts, try to reframe them into more positive and realistic statements. For example, instead of “I hate my body,” you could reframe it as “I may not love every aspect of my body, but I can appreciate and take care of it for all the things it allows me to do.”

By practicing cognitive restructuring, you can start to change your negative thought patterns and develop a more positive and realistic perspective of your body. This tool can take time and practice to master, but it can be a powerful way to improve body image and overall well-being.

In conclusion, learning to love your body when you hate it can be a challenging journey and does not happen overnight, but there are many mental tools and practices that can help improve your body image and overall well-being. Whether it’s practicing body appreciation, positive affirmations, gratitude, body neutrality, mindfulness, or cognitive restructuring, there are many different approaches you can try to develop a more positive and accepting relationship with your body.

Recommended Resource

The Body Image Workbook for Every Body by Rachel Sellers and Mimi Cole is an incredibly powerful and thought-provoking resource to deconstructing body privilege and promoting body positivity. The exercises in the workbook are well-organised and easy to follow, and the author’s approach to body image is both compassionate and inclusive.

What sets this book apart from other body image resources is its emphasis on addressing body privilege and understanding how societal and cultural factors impact our relationship with our bodies. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with body image issues.

In conclusion, it’s important to remember that improving body image is not about achieving a certain look or standard, but rather about accepting and appreciating your body for all that it is and all that it can do. By practicing these tools and approaches regularly, you can start to shift your focus away from negative self-talk and towards self-compassion and acceptance.

Also be patient and kind to yourself throughout this journey, as it takes time and practice to develop a more positive and loving relationship with your body. A therapist could also help you overcome how you feel about your body.

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