Five Mindset Techniques To Overcome Grief And Loss

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In this post, we will explore five mindset techniques to overcome grief and loss to help you cope with the pain of loss, helping your healing and growth. These techniques are not merely about finding a quick fix; they are essential tools that promote your emotional well-being and a deeper understanding of your own experiences.

Grief and loss are universal experiences that can leave you feeling overwhelmed, lost, and isolated. Whether it’s the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or losing a cherished dream, the process of mourning can be incredibly challenging. Grief is painful because it reflects the deep emotional connection and love you feel for someone or something you’ve lost, leaving a void that’s difficult to fill.

However, it is possible to work  through the pain of grief and emerge stronger on the other side while going through the five stages of grief.

What Is A Grieving Mind?

A grieving mind refers to the complex emotional and cognitive processes that occur when someone experiences the loss of a loved one. It includes the emotional reaction known as grief, which is characterised by a strong sense of loss, sadness, and despair, as well as various mental changes that the brain goes through as one learns to deal with that loss.

Key Aspects of a Grieving Mind

Your grieving mind experiences distinct reactions while you are mourning the loss of a loved one or another major loss.

  • Emotional responses: Grief can manifest as intense feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion. This emotional turmoil can often lead to physical symptoms, such as fatigue or a weakened immune system.
  • Cognitive changes: The grieving process may affect memory, attention, and the ability to focus. You might find your thoughts preoccupied with memories of the deceased, disrupting daily activities.
  • Learning to adapt: Grieving involves a cognitive adjustment where the mind learns to operate in a world without the loved one. This adaptation process may include redefining personal identities that were intertwined with the deceased.
  • Brain functionality: Research indicates that the brain engages in numerous mental functions during grief, such as regulating emotion, recalling memories, and managing interpersonal relationships. This can affect your overall mental health and daily functioning.


The process of grieving can be viewed as a form of learning, with the brain continuously working through new habits and interactions that surround the absence of your loved one. Emotional support from others can significantly influence this process, helping you to adapt more effectively.

Understanding that grief is a universal experience can provide comfort to you, encouraging you to connect with others and find healing through shared experiences.

What Happens To The Mind During Grief?

Grief can significantly affect your mental state and brain function as you deal with the complexities of loss. Understanding the impact of grief on the mind can help you cope with your emotions to heal.

Grief significantly influences various brain functions, inducing both emotional and biological changes. During grief, your stress hormones, such as cortisol, may increase, causing heightened anxiety and emotional turmoil. Specific neural pathways, particularly in the basal ganglia, become more active, intensifying your longing to reconnect with lost loved ones. Also, there may be a disconnect between different types of memory, where your autobiographical memories of the person coexist with an understanding of their absence, often creating confusion and a sense of being “stuck” in grief.

Psychologically, grief can lead to an identity crisis, especially if the lost relationship was central to who you are. You may find that everyday items or situations unexpectedly trigger memories and emotions, bringing waves of renewed sorrow. However, grief is also a learning process, where you adapt to a new reality, learning how to live without your loved one and creating a new normal.

In the long term, grief can have lasting effects on your mental health, increasing the risk of conditions such as depression and anxiety, which may require professional support. Chronic grief can also change how your brain processes rewards and emotional responses, making it harder to find joy in other aspects of life.

To cope with grief, it is essential to avoid isolation by staying connected with friends and family, which can help you process your emotions and rebuild social ties. Seeking professional help through therapy or counselling from a health professional will provide a supportive space to work through your feelings of loss. Engaging in self-care practices such as mindfulness, exercise, and creative outlets can further promote emotional healing and resilience.

Understanding how grief affects your mind can help normalise the feelings and challenges you face during this difficult time. Healing is a gradual process, requiring patience and self-compassion.

Five Mindset Techniques To Overcome Grief And Loss

Grief is a powerful and complex emotion that can feel overwhelming. While there is no quick fix for coping with the loss, developing the right mindset can help you navigate the difficult journey.  Here are five mindset techniques that can assist you in overcoming grief and rebuilding your sense of well-being while going through the different stages of grief.

  1. Accept the grieving process
    Grief is not something to “get over” but rather something to move through. Allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions, whether it’s sadness, anger, or even moments of joy. Remind yourself that healing is a process, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. By accepting that grief is part of your journey, you open the door to gradual healing.
  2. Practice self-compassion
    When grieving, it’s easy to fall into patterns of self-criticism or unrealistic expectations. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you are doing the best you can under difficult circumstances. Self-compassion allows you to let go of guilt or pressure, giving you the emotional space to heal at your own pace.
  3. Focus on what you can control
    Grief often brings feelings of helplessness, but you can regain a sense of control by focusing on what you can change. This might mean setting small, manageable goals for each day or finding activities that provide structure and comfort. Whether it’s making a cup of tea, going for a walk, or journaling, taking control of small aspects of your day can bring a sense of stability.
  4. Reframe negative thoughts
    In times of grief, negative thoughts can easily dominate your mind. While it’s important to honour your pain, try to reframe these thoughts when they become too overwhelming. For example, instead of thinking, “I will never be happy again,” shift to “I am going through a tough time, but healing is possible.” This reframing helps create a more balanced perspective and reduces feelings of despair.
  5. Practice gratitude
    While grief focuses on loss, practicing gratitude can bring balance to your mindset. This doesn’t mean dismissing your pain, but rather finding moments, however small, that offer comfort or hope. Reflecting on what you’re grateful for can shift your focus towards life’s positives, allowing you to slowly rebuild a sense of joy and peace amidst the sorrow.

Grief is an inevitable part of life that stems from the deep bonds you form, and while the pain can feel unbearable, it also reflects the value of those connections. By accepting the process, practicing self-compassion, and adopting a mindful approach to healing, you can gradually find peace and meaning in the aftermath of loss.

Healing may take time, but with patience and the right mindset, it’s possible to move forward while honouring the memory of what was lost. The five mindset techniques to overcome grief and loss shared in this post will steer you in the right direction.

If, after a considerable amount of time, you are still unable to accept your loss and sadness, please seek professional help.

This post is dedicated to Emily's mother who passed away recently.

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